{"id":17,"date":"2025-12-25T07:29:04","date_gmt":"2025-12-25T04:29:04","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/yunvi.chat\/blog\/en\/?p=17"},"modified":"2025-12-25T13:10:52","modified_gmt":"2025-12-25T10:10:52","slug":"if-you-send-this-message-youre-eliminated-without-noticing-part-2-the-psychology-behind-first-messages-that-get-replies","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/yunvi.chat\/blog\/en\/if-you-send-this-message-youre-eliminated-without-noticing-part-2-the-psychology-behind-first-messages-that-get-replies\/","title":{"rendered":"\ud83d\udc49 If You Send This Message, You\u2019re Eliminated Without Noticing (Part 2) \ud83d\udd0e The Psychology Behind First Messages That Get Replies"},"content":{"rendered":"<p data-start=\"4560\" data-end=\"4610\">In the previous article, we saw something clearly:<\/p>\n<p data-start=\"4612\" data-end=\"4739\">Most people don\u2019t get ignored because they\u2019re unattractive.<br data-start=\"4671\" data-end=\"4674\" \/>They get ignored because their <strong data-start=\"4705\" data-end=\"4738\">first message creates nothing<\/strong>.<\/p>\n<p data-start=\"4612\" data-end=\"4739\"><a href=\"https:\/\/yunvi.chat\/blog\/en\/if-you-send-this-message-youre-eliminated-without-noticing-common-first-message-mistakes-in-dating-apps\/\">Click here to read the previous article.<\/a><\/p>\n<p data-start=\"4741\" data-end=\"4762\">Now let\u2019s talk about:<\/p>\n<ul data-start=\"4763\" data-end=\"4864\">\n<li data-start=\"4763\" data-end=\"4786\">\n<p data-start=\"4765\" data-end=\"4786\">What actually works<\/p>\n<\/li>\n<li data-start=\"4787\" data-end=\"4823\">\n<p data-start=\"4789\" data-end=\"4823\">Why certain messages get replies<\/p>\n<\/li>\n<li data-start=\"4824\" data-end=\"4864\">\n<p data-start=\"4826\" data-end=\"4864\">How to start conversations naturally<\/p>\n<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<hr data-start=\"4866\" data-end=\"4869\" \/>\n<h2 data-start=\"4871\" data-end=\"4912\">\ud83e\udde0 THE REAL PURPOSE OF A FIRST MESSAGE<\/h2>\n<p data-start=\"4914\" data-end=\"4962\">Forget this idea that your first message should:<\/p>\n<ul data-start=\"4963\" data-end=\"5016\">\n<li data-start=\"4963\" data-end=\"4974\">\n<p data-start=\"4965\" data-end=\"4974\">Impress<\/p>\n<\/li>\n<li data-start=\"4975\" data-end=\"4992\">\n<p data-start=\"4977\" data-end=\"4992\">Flirt heavily<\/p>\n<\/li>\n<li data-start=\"4993\" data-end=\"5016\">\n<p data-start=\"4995\" data-end=\"5016\">Explain who you are<\/p>\n<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p data-start=\"5018\" data-end=\"5045\">\ud83c\udfaf The real goal is simple:<\/p>\n<blockquote data-start=\"5047\" data-end=\"5089\">\n<p data-start=\"5049\" data-end=\"5089\">Make it easy \u2014 and enjoyable \u2014 to reply.<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n<p data-start=\"5091\" data-end=\"5101\">That\u2019s it.<\/p>\n<hr data-start=\"5103\" data-end=\"5106\" \/>\n<h2 data-start=\"5108\" data-end=\"5156\">\u2705 WHAT ALL REPLIED-TO MESSAGES HAVE IN COMMON<\/h2>\n<p data-start=\"5158\" data-end=\"5182\">They share three traits:<\/p>\n<ol data-start=\"5184\" data-end=\"5245\">\n<li data-start=\"5184\" data-end=\"5198\">\n<p data-start=\"5187\" data-end=\"5198\">Lightness<\/p>\n<\/li>\n<li data-start=\"5199\" data-end=\"5213\">\n<p data-start=\"5202\" data-end=\"5213\">Curiosity<\/p>\n<\/li>\n<li data-start=\"5214\" data-end=\"5245\">\n<p data-start=\"5217\" data-end=\"5245\">Space for the other person<\/p>\n<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n<hr data-start=\"5247\" data-end=\"5250\" \/>\n<h2 data-start=\"5252\" data-end=\"5296\">\ud83d\udfe2 1. Messages That Reference the Profile<\/h2>\n<p data-start=\"5298\" data-end=\"5342\">If there\u2019s something in the profile, use it.<\/p>\n<p data-start=\"5344\" data-end=\"5359\"><strong data-start=\"5344\" data-end=\"5359\">Instead of:<\/strong><\/p>\n<blockquote data-start=\"5360\" data-end=\"5376\">\n<p data-start=\"5362\" data-end=\"5376\">\u201cHow are you?\u201d<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n<p data-start=\"5378\" data-end=\"5386\"><strong data-start=\"5378\" data-end=\"5386\">Try:<\/strong><\/p>\n<blockquote data-start=\"5387\" data-end=\"5444\">\n<p data-start=\"5389\" data-end=\"5444\">\u201cYou say you\u2019re a coffee addict \u2014 how many cups today?\u201d<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n<p data-start=\"5446\" data-end=\"5459\">This message:<\/p>\n<ul data-start=\"5460\" data-end=\"5518\">\n<li data-start=\"5460\" data-end=\"5479\">\n<p data-start=\"5462\" data-end=\"5479\">Shows attention<\/p>\n<\/li>\n<li data-start=\"5480\" data-end=\"5498\">\n<p data-start=\"5482\" data-end=\"5498\">Feels personal<\/p>\n<\/li>\n<li data-start=\"5499\" data-end=\"5518\">\n<p data-start=\"5501\" data-end=\"5518\">Is easy to answer<\/p>\n<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<hr data-start=\"5520\" data-end=\"5523\" \/>\n<h2 data-start=\"5525\" data-end=\"5571\">\ud83d\udfe2 2. Open-Ended but Low-Pressure Questions<\/h2>\n<p data-start=\"5573\" data-end=\"5611\">Not yes\/no.<br data-start=\"5584\" data-end=\"5587\" \/>Not deep life questions.<\/p>\n<p data-start=\"5613\" data-end=\"5625\"><strong data-start=\"5613\" data-end=\"5625\">Example:<\/strong><\/p>\n<blockquote data-start=\"5626\" data-end=\"5691\">\n<p data-start=\"5628\" data-end=\"5691\">\u201cWhat\u2019s the funniest thing that\u2019s happened to you on this app?\u201d<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n<p data-start=\"5693\" data-end=\"5714\">This kind of message:<\/p>\n<ul data-start=\"5715\" data-end=\"5775\">\n<li data-start=\"5715\" data-end=\"5729\">\n<p data-start=\"5717\" data-end=\"5729\">Feels safe<\/p>\n<\/li>\n<li data-start=\"5730\" data-end=\"5757\">\n<p data-start=\"5732\" data-end=\"5757\">Encourages storytelling<\/p>\n<\/li>\n<li data-start=\"5758\" data-end=\"5775\">\n<p data-start=\"5760\" data-end=\"5775\">Starts momentum<\/p>\n<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<hr data-start=\"5777\" data-end=\"5780\" \/>\n<h2 data-start=\"5782\" data-end=\"5813\">\ud83d\udfe2 3. Observational Messages<\/h2>\n<p data-start=\"5815\" data-end=\"5847\">No compliments.<br data-start=\"5830\" data-end=\"5833\" \/>No evaluation.<\/p>\n<p data-start=\"5849\" data-end=\"5866\">Just observation.<\/p>\n<blockquote data-start=\"5868\" data-end=\"5944\">\n<p data-start=\"5870\" data-end=\"5944\">\u201cYour profile feels calm, but I get the sense you\u2019re actually pretty fun.\u201d<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n<p data-start=\"5946\" data-end=\"5969\">This creates curiosity:<\/p>\n<blockquote data-start=\"5970\" data-end=\"5996\">\n<p data-start=\"5972\" data-end=\"5996\">\u201cWhy do you think that?\u201d<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n<hr data-start=\"5998\" data-end=\"6001\" \/>\n<h3 data-start=\"6003\" data-end=\"6021\"><\/h3>\n<blockquote data-start=\"6023\" data-end=\"6142\">\n<p data-start=\"6025\" data-end=\"6142\">If this approach feels more natural to you, you\u2019re not alone.<br data-start=\"6086\" data-end=\"6089\" \/>Conversation flows better in the right environment.<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n<p data-start=\"6144\" data-end=\"6169\"><a href=\"https:\/\/yunvi.chat\">\ud83d\udc49 <strong data-start=\"6147\" data-end=\"6169\">Explore on the Web<\/strong><\/a><\/p>\n<hr data-start=\"6171\" data-end=\"6174\" \/>\n<h2 data-start=\"6176\" data-end=\"6222\">\ud83d\udfe2 4. Why Voice and Video Change Everything<\/h2>\n<p data-start=\"6224\" data-end=\"6262\">Text removes tone.<br data-start=\"6242\" data-end=\"6245\" \/>Intent gets lost.<\/p>\n<p data-start=\"6264\" data-end=\"6280\">Voice and video:<\/p>\n<ul data-start=\"6281\" data-end=\"6359\">\n<li data-start=\"6281\" data-end=\"6313\">\n<p data-start=\"6283\" data-end=\"6313\">Communicate warmth instantly<\/p>\n<\/li>\n<li data-start=\"6314\" data-end=\"6341\">\n<p data-start=\"6316\" data-end=\"6341\">Reduce misunderstanding<\/p>\n<\/li>\n<li data-start=\"6342\" data-end=\"6359\">\n<p data-start=\"6344\" data-end=\"6359\">Feel more human<\/p>\n<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p data-start=\"6361\" data-end=\"6475\">That\u2019s why many people who struggle with texting feel much more confident when they can <strong data-start=\"6449\" data-end=\"6474\">speak instead of type<\/strong>.<\/p>\n<hr data-start=\"6477\" data-end=\"6480\" \/>\n<h2 data-start=\"6482\" data-end=\"6530\">\ud83d\udfe2 5. Short Messages That Invite Continuation<\/h2>\n<p data-start=\"6532\" data-end=\"6575\">A first message should <strong data-start=\"6555\" data-end=\"6563\">open<\/strong>, not close.<\/p>\n<p data-start=\"6577\" data-end=\"6587\"><strong data-start=\"6577\" data-end=\"6587\">Avoid:<\/strong><\/p>\n<blockquote data-start=\"6588\" data-end=\"6621\">\n<p data-start=\"6590\" data-end=\"6621\">\u201cLet me tell you about myself\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n<p data-start=\"6623\" data-end=\"6631\"><strong data-start=\"6623\" data-end=\"6631\">Try:<\/strong><\/p>\n<blockquote data-start=\"6632\" data-end=\"6691\">\n<p data-start=\"6634\" data-end=\"6691\">\u201cWhat\u2019s the weirdest first message you\u2019ve received here?\u201d<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n<p data-start=\"6693\" data-end=\"6729\">This invites engagement, not effort.<\/p>\n<hr data-start=\"6731\" data-end=\"6734\" \/>\n<h2 data-start=\"6736\" data-end=\"6764\">\u26a0\ufe0f WHAT TO AVOID \u2014 ALWAYS<\/h2>\n<ul data-start=\"6766\" data-end=\"6867\">\n<li data-start=\"6766\" data-end=\"6806\">\n<p data-start=\"6768\" data-end=\"6806\">Sending the same message to everyone<\/p>\n<\/li>\n<li data-start=\"6807\" data-end=\"6838\">\n<p data-start=\"6809\" data-end=\"6838\">Writing follow-ups too fast<\/p>\n<\/li>\n<li data-start=\"6839\" data-end=\"6867\">\n<p data-start=\"6841\" data-end=\"6867\">Trying to force interest<\/p>\n<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p data-start=\"6869\" data-end=\"6911\">In dating, the relaxed person always wins.<\/p>\n<hr data-start=\"6913\" data-end=\"6916\" \/>\n<h3 data-start=\"6918\" data-end=\"6945\"><\/h3>\n<blockquote data-start=\"6947\" data-end=\"7072\">\n<p data-start=\"6949\" data-end=\"7072\">Many people who struggle with texting feel more natural speaking.<br data-start=\"7014\" data-end=\"7017\" \/>Explore on the web \u2014 continue on the app if you like.<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n<p data-start=\"7074\" data-end=\"7120\"><a href=\"https:\/\/yunvi.chat\">\ud83d\udc49 <strong data-start=\"7077\" data-end=\"7099\">Visit the Homepage<\/strong><\/a><\/p>\n<hr data-start=\"7122\" data-end=\"7125\" \/>\n<h2 data-start=\"7127\" data-end=\"7146\">\ud83d\udd1a FINAL THOUGHT<\/h2>\n<p data-start=\"7148\" data-end=\"7184\">Not getting replies is rarely about:<\/p>\n<ul data-start=\"7185\" data-end=\"7213\">\n<li data-start=\"7185\" data-end=\"7194\">\n<p data-start=\"7187\" data-end=\"7194\">Looks<\/p>\n<\/li>\n<li data-start=\"7195\" data-end=\"7204\">\n<p data-start=\"7197\" data-end=\"7204\">Value<\/p>\n<\/li>\n<li data-start=\"7205\" data-end=\"7213\">\n<p data-start=\"7207\" data-end=\"7213\">Luck<\/p>\n<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p data-start=\"7215\" data-end=\"7258\">It\u2019s about <strong data-start=\"7226\" data-end=\"7257\">how the conversation starts<\/strong>.<\/p>\n<p data-start=\"7260\" data-end=\"7326\">In the right environment, with the right tone, things change fast.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>In the previous article, we saw something clearly: Most people don\u2019t get ignored because they\u2019re unattractive.They get ignored because their first message creates nothing. Click here to read the previous article. Now let\u2019s talk about: What actually works Why certain messages get replies How to start conversations naturally \ud83e\udde0 THE REAL PURPOSE OF A FIRST &hellip; <\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":20,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-17","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-dating-academy"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/yunvi.chat\/blog\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/17","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/yunvi.chat\/blog\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/yunvi.chat\/blog\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/yunvi.chat\/blog\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/yunvi.chat\/blog\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=17"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/yunvi.chat\/blog\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/17\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":18,"href":"https:\/\/yunvi.chat\/blog\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/17\/revisions\/18"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/yunvi.chat\/blog\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/20"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/yunvi.chat\/blog\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=17"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/yunvi.chat\/blog\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=17"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/yunvi.chat\/blog\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=17"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}